Part of being an addict in recovery is making sure you don’t addicted to other things. It is so easy to sub one addiction for another. Sometimes it starts off with good intentions and spirals out of control, sometimes not so much.
Lately, I’ve realized that I’ve started to become addicted to self help and self improvement. Reading book after book promising to make me a millionaire, have the most confidence I’ll ever have, be a better spouse, be a better parent, you get the point.
Which led me to starting probably one too many projects. I quit my full time job in the pharmacy, which is probably only a good thing aside from the fact that it was constant temptation. I got a full time job in accounting and decided to also start a side gig on Upwork, and a side gig on Rev, and start this blog, and start a Bookkeeper Business program, and pay off debt, and lose some weight, and again, you get the point.
All of that on top of the fact that I’m planning a wedding, I work a full 40 hour work week, I’m in the nastiest custody battle, and I go to school full time! Am I insane? Probably.
But I say all of that with this, an addict is an addict. Know your limits. If you don’t know them, discover them. I obviously am a pro at pushing my own limits. Now my limits have been pushed, I’m exhausted, I feel defeated because I gave myself unrealistic expectations, all three of which could very easily lead to a relapse.
Someone once told me, you’re either working on recovery, or working on a relapse. You can’t half ass your recovery and expect to get the results of putting in 100%. You can’t be half in recovery, half in the streets succumbing to your vice of choice. Either be full in recovery, or be full in the streets. Whichever you choose, I won’t judge you. But don’t waste your own time by being half in and half out.
I’m going to take a break from my million and a half side jobs and enjoy what I have.
I hope you’re having a wonderful December, please feel free to reach out if you need support during this particularly difficult time of year,